Fuelling the Modern Man

Kim Jong-un commissions scientists to begin brewing sex potion

He’s hoping to make his sex life go boom…

Josh Butler
Published 28th November 2016
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What is there left to do when you’re a ruthless dictator who’s already launched nuclear warheads at your nearest neighbours and executed several of your relatives?

It turns out, despite his frequent displays of military belligerence, the crackpot leader isn’t actually all that unlike your average bloke on the street. He, like the rest of us, just wants to be better in bed.

Now, while most men would perhaps buy a certain blue pill over the counter to help with their woes, this is Kim Jong-un we’re talking about, and he’s commissioned a team of scientists to develop a potion to treat sexual dysfunction.

kim

“I’m telling you — it’s THIS big!”

Whether Kim has intentions on taking the potion himself remains unclear, although we’d wager just pressing the big red ‘LAUNCH’ button in his secret bunker probably gives him a raging hard one.

For those who aren’t excited by the imminent destruction of their most hated enemies, the team of North Korean researchers are using sea urchins, snake extract and mushrooms soaked in alcohol to help increase libido in men.

The Pyongyang Times report that the concoctions do not come with any notable side effects, such as addiction, and there are rumours the products are being prepared for sale outside of the hermit nation by The Korea Oriental Medicine Development Centre.

All three of the core ingredients are considered to possess qualities for increasing a man’s sex drive, albeit there’s little empirical evidence to substantiate these claims.

However, aside from their alleged ability to stimulate sexual appetite, the potions are also said to cure a variety of ailments ranging from psoriasis, tuberculosis and fatigue. But we reckon you can take that with a pinch  cup of salt…

Still, whether this is going to have the men of North Korea standing to attention or not, we think – despite all its oddities – its a safer past-time for Kim Jong-un to be entertaining than starting World War III.